Shidduchim, dating & relationships
Dating is an intentional pursuit of marriage, not the casual preparation for it. Unfortunately, just because someone begins dating early and often, it doesn’t mean that the person is prepared for dating or marriage. If we ever want to be ready for marriage, we must begin preparing for having a healthy and meaningful relationship.
Dating with purpose
‘Dating well’ is not mainly about looking for how to be romantic on a date, but, instead, dating is about looking for who to marry. Successful dating is about dating with the purpose of marriage in mind and clarity about how to effectively accomplish the objective. Studying how to be a better person and learning how to be an effective communicator, how to respect others, and how to be flexible are the most integral ingredients in a successful relationship. One must also identify and define the foundations of the goals in his life so that he finds a partner who agrees with these fundamentals. Once these are established and are clear, it is much easier to find a lifelong partner who shares similar values, and the relationship is developed on meaningful ideals.
We discuss life values together and we explore the direction that each individual bochor wants to take in his life. Whether it is more of a focus on Chessed, community, Torah education, Torah study, Tzedakah, activism, etc., or whatever he feels is the objective that his heart leads him to.
All too often, a bochor isn’t sure what to talk about on a date, because he isn’t very clear about the dating objective and is lost in the dating experience. If he has well-defined values and directions that he wishes for his future he becomes more sure of himself and it is very evident in the Shidduch discussions that he has.
Guidance and support
As a bochor matures, we examine his personality and the traits he lacks, as well as his strengths and chart out where he needs to improve. We then consider what type of person will compliment his growth and personality interests.
We study what should be reflected in his Shidduch Resume and together consider Shidduch proposals. It is fundamental that he have guidance and support during this challenging stage of life and help him learn more about himself as he goes through the Shidduch journey.